


Mosaic minded

by GriffinCastle



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Comfort, Dissociation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-03 22:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12156528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GriffinCastle/pseuds/GriffinCastle
Summary: Richtofen has a dissociative episode, Dempsey gives him a reality check. Takes place on Der Eisendrache.





	Mosaic minded

The sensation seemed to come out of nowhere, and almost instantly Richtofen was no longer one with his body. He was gone, somewhere else, somewhere completely ejected from his consciousness. However, the feeling was nothing new to the doctor, and he knew he had to go somewhere private to endure the moment of disconnect. He gave no reply to his worrisome teammates as he lowered his weapon and calmly retreated in solitude. The battlefield was no place to dissociate. 

After a couple lost minutes of wandering the German had finally found the way to his room, or at least he thought it was his room. It looked familiar, but at the same time foreign. He sat on the edge of his bed as he struggled to examine the quarters more thoroughly, but no matter what his mind remained blank.  
Instead, the doctor turned his attention to the window. He wondered why the downcast sky looked so false, as if painted with oil.  
'Interesting', Edward thought, but his dulled sense of emotion didn't reach him well enough to fully appreciate the beauty. He wondered if it had always looked like that.  
To some, this clarity and simplicity of thought in such stressful times would be considered bliss, but to the doctor it was terrifying. There was no rationality to tell him what universe he was in, no memory of where he was or where he was going, and no reassurance to his paranoid mind that he was safe. Everything was gone.  
Even the sounds of reality didn't seem to reach the German, as if just out of range, as if echos. Echos.  
Richtofen jumped, suddenly caught off guard. Dempsey had apparently followed the doctor, and was sitting next to him.  
"You OK, Doc? You're doing that thing again aren't you?" his lover spoke sympathetically and squeezed the other's shoulder  
Richtofen blinked "I did not see you come in."  
"Eddie, what's wrong?"  
Richtofen hung his head, frustrated "I..I do not know."  
"Eddie, do you know where we are?" the American questioned. Dempsey knew exactly where they were, but he had learned that these basic questions worked wonders for returning his doctor's consciousness.  
However, Edward ignored the question and mumbled something in German instead.  
"Doc. Location."  
"Oh, I am sorry. This is..." he trailed off, distracted again.  
The marine sighed, but kept his hand on his partner's shoulder. "It's ok."  
He glanced around the bedroom before going on "Ya know, I've never been in this room before. How did ya find this place?"  
No reply.  
Dempsey then stood and started flip through the books that littered the nearby desk. They were mostly journals, a few written in German, a few written in french, but he finally understood as he read the name that ran across the spine of the notebook. "Oh, this was you're room."  
"...Which 'me' are you referring to?" Edward asked in a mutter.  
"Oh. Uh." Dempsey quickly realized he might have made matters worse. "I'm not sure."  
The American had dealt with Richtofen's episodes before, and if there's anything he had learned it was that a large amount of the doctor's confusion had come from his weak concept of self. He had always struggled with lapses in consciousness, but after their time in France, they only got worse. Richtofen seemed to take on all the memories of his darker counterparts, and because of this he had a hard time understanding what reality was his and what reality belonged to his other-selves. Considering how cruel and sadistic these other-selves were, Dempsey fully understood why he was always so anxious.  
The American sat back down next to his partner, but his closeness seemed to frighten the other man. This had to be what upset Dempsey the most, when Richtofen wasn't even sure if they were lovers or not.  
"It's alright, Doc" he reassured him.  
"Dempsey, what is happening?" he breathed anxiously while clutching the edge of the matress.  
"It's ok, Eddie. We're safe right now." he reached for the doctor's hand, but Richtofen pulled away immediately.  
"What is going on?" he asked more frantically.  
"Ok ok.." Tank breathed in carefully before reciting an old familiar script. "You're Doctor Edward Richtofen. We met in France on 1918, and have been partners since. You saved your friend Maxis, and set Samantha free." He paused for a moment, almost getting lost in the memory before he continued "Takeo and Nikolai are with us, and we're all safe. We're in Austria right now and you're trying to stop some business on the moon. You're no murderer, and you're no bad guy."  
This script, though simple, seemed to always calm his doctor with assurances of their current world. The man noticed an almost subtle change as Richtofen twiddled his thumbs and responded thoughtfully "Is that so."  
"I swear" he nodded.  
The German then leaned against his lover with a heavy sigh.  
"Do you feel any better?" Tank asked carefully  
"Thank you, Dempsey. For that." he said softly, ignoring the question again.  
The American pulled him closer "It's alright."  
"Where did you get that tactic from anyway?" Richtofen asked "Surely psychological education is not a part of a Marine's training."  
"I've kinda picked it up over the years" he shrugged.  
'Over the years.' Richtofen let himself fall back onto the mattress, and shut his eyes tight. It was an upsetting concept.  
'What's on your mind?' the American seemed to ask as he laid next to the other man.  
Although Edward understood he was trying to comfort him, it also left the German with a sense of anxiety. Lovers of the past had said the exact same thing. They reassured him that they could handle his episodes, rather they be dissociative or psychotic. They had promised that they were used to it. However, there would always come a time where they couldn't take it anymore. Eventually, they would grow irritated with being late for work so often, or dropping plans they had made weeks in advance, or dealing with the doctor as if he was a lost child. Eventually they would grow tired of walking on eggshells trying not to set the episodes in motion, and eventually, they would break it off.  
Even now, Richtofen was annoyed at how frequently they had to put the mission on hold on his behalf. Yes, he was the only one who knew what was going on, but surely the others found it hindering their progress. When would Dempsey reach his limit? He did not dare to ask.  
"Oh Tank, can you really love someone so broken?" he muttered pathetically.  
"A mosaic is a bunch of broken shards of glass, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful."  
Richtofen couldn't help but laugh "Ok, now I know someone's been reading that awful poetry again!"  
Dempsey giggled and hugged his partner close "You got me."  
"You are so sentimental, American" the doctor teased. Dempsey responded by peppering his neck in small, sweet kisses.  
The doctor smiled as he looked into the Marine's patient eyes. Perhaps Dempsey would grow tired one day, but today wasn't that day. Richtofen learned he had to appreciate the way things were, and not let fears of the uncertain future corrupt the wonderful present.  
"Do you wanna get back to the others?" Tank asked before adding "If you feel better of course."  
"I still feel a bit odd" Richtofen confessed with a smile "Besides, I would rather stay here with you."  
Tank laughed again "Alright, alright, I can take a hint." and the two remained locked together until quietly dozing off.

**Author's Note:**

> Short one-shot. Only give reality checks to your dissociating friends if they request it though, it could backfire and make things worse if they aren't ready for it.
> 
> And yeah, Dempsey probably reads The Gayest poetry (mostly pieces recommended by Nikolai.)


End file.
